An Elegy for the Lost

I miss you .

 

The way you happily welcomed each new day,

Greeting everyone with a “Good morning!”

Not just with your words, but with your smile

That lit up your face, much like the sun does to the world.

 

The way you wore kindness on your sleeves,

Matched with untarnished sincerity,

Never thinking twice about trying

To see the best in other people, no matter what.

 

The way you pursued the things that meant a lot to you,

With passion and drive to reach for the stars,

Certain that anything less will not be enough,

And that nothing more is just too much.

 

The way you felt so secure in your own person,

Self- assured but never arrogant,

Not minding what other people thought or said,

Just content to be able to do what you wanted in life.

 

I miss you,

And I mourn for the loss of you every day,

Wondering if you’ll ever find your way back to me,

Or if I’ll ever be able to finally move on.

Advertisements

The Decision

The Decision

 

You’ll probably never get to read this,

(because you never read any of my stuff )

but I still want to write it all down.

When you made the Decision three years ago,

when you chose to walk away from it all

to go after what you really want

to be the person you really want to be,

I thought you were crazy.

And yet, some part of me understood.

Some part of me was envious even.

Because you were able to make the choice I never could.

You were brave enough to make the Decision.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to gather as much courage.

I don’t even know if it’ll make a difference if I do.

But I’ll try to be brave in my own way,

so that come one day,

I’ll be able to embrace the Truth as you did.

Scarred

This goes out to all the survivors, who proudly wear their battle scars both externally and internally. Fight on, warriors of life! 

 

You won’t immediately see it, but it’s there.

If you look a little closer, you’ll find that it’s unmistakable.

That mark. That permanent mark.

Once you see it, it becomes pretty hard to look away.

To some, it might look like an imperfection.

It’s a scar. Those are scars. She’s scarred. 

 

Because even if time does its magic,

And heals the wounds you’ve sustained,

There are some wounds that never do fully go away.

They leave behind scars.

Those marks. Those permanent marks.

That serve as a reminder of all the hurt and pain.

But more than that, it serves as a symbol of survival.

Those little blemishes are all that are left of that time.

You’ve done it. You’ve gotten through it.

So, never mind the stares of the ignorant.

Let them stare.

They have no idea what you’ve been through.

Wear those marks with pride.

They are proof of your strength.

It’s a scar. They are scars. We are scarred. 

Face-to-Face

Author’s Note: This one is a product of my waiting/monitoring shift at the hemodialysis unit during my patient’s 6-hour long session last 07/06/16. Talk about intense! Napa-senti (-ish) tuloy ako! :)) 

 

Face-to-Face

It’s funny how the sight of your name

seems to trigger the start of tears.

I don’t know why,

but it always does –

I guess my heart’s just so lonely.

A message fails to do what it ought –

it does nothing to bridge distances.

Instead, it only reminds me that there is one.

There is this great distance between us,

and I can only rely on words on a screen

because for now,

I cannot see you;

I cannot hear you;

I cannot speak to you;

face-to-face.

Trick of the Shadows

Author’s Note: It’s February! And there are a lot of things to be happy about! First, it’s FamMed and ComMed month, meaning we now bring focus on the ART of medicine, rather than solely the Science part of it. That, and well, it’s a benign rotation – hooray for writing time! Second, it’s the month of love! This season has always been a minefield of inspiration, and that explains why I’m back to writing stuff like this. And lastly, it’s also National Arts Month here in the PH. All the more reason to embrace the writer within and just let the words flow~

 

Trick of the Shadows

I thought I saw you today.

The boy, the man, that I almost ran into looked a lot like you.

He looked so much like you that I just had to turn around for a second look.

And a third.

And a fourth.

He must have thought I was crazy.

Even I thought I was crazy.

How could I ever have thought that we’d cross paths again?

It’s been far too long, and far too many things have happened.

You’ve made your choices and I’ve made mine.

Still, there are days, days like today,

Days when I catch a glimpse of you

Only to find out that it isn’t really you,

But just a trick of the shadows,

Nothing more but an illusion of what could have been,

Had we chose to hold on rather than say goodbye.

 

Gentle Soul

Gentle Soul

Rest well, gentle soul.
Find your way home into His arms
and forever stay in His warm embrace.

Be free, gentle soul.
The suffering is over, the pain gone,
for He has come to set you at ease.

Fear not, gentle soul.
You will never be forgotten
for you remain always in our hearts.

Be glad, gentle soul.
He comes to greet you with arms wide open
and such words, “Welcome home, child. Welcome home.”

selfie shot with Lola Gelly last May 2013 || I'll miss you, Lola! "Syempre, ikaw lang..."
selfie shot with Lola Gelly last May 2013 || I’ll miss you, Lola! “Syempre, ikaw lang…”

Enough

For you who, after all these years, finally learned to be content

 

Enough

Just a kiss to say good night is enough for me.

It lingers far longer than it should,

Spreading warmth all over my body

Making it so I lie in bed with thoughts of you

And eventually fall to the embrace of sleep

With dreams of you

 

Just a quick hug of comfort is enough for me.

It shows how much you care and worry,

Wanting to rid me of my fears and doubts

Making it so my mind is set at ease

Despite the thundering heartbeat, the speechlessness

And dreams of you.

 

Just a phone call when you’re away is enough for me.

It shortens the distance between us,

Sending the sound of your voice for me to hear,

Making it so you don’t seem oceans away

Even though you leave me with just five words

And dreams of you.

 

Just a ‘Hello’ as a greeting is enough for me.

It tells me that you still recognize me,

Meeting ‘by coincidence’ along the busy sidewalk,

Making it so I can at least have a reason

To smile, to say a greeting back and

To dream of you.

 

Just a quick glimpse of you is enough for me.

It reminds me that you are real,

Existing in a world that is not my imagination,

Making it so my reality is still held in place

Though I can now only dare approach

In dreams of you.

 

Just a thought from you is enough for me.

It serves as the proof that you remember me,

Drifting every now and then in your mind

Making it so I know that we did matter

Though I only see the face I want to see

In dreams of you.