Unbreak My Heart

We’re on our last module for the first semester of AY 2013-2013, OS 213 – Cardiology. Oh God… I’ve been fearing this module for ages! Why? Well, this is the notorious module that has a ridiculously difficult OSCE, an unbelievable number of transes and a 200-item mega final exam. It just goes to show that the matters of the heart are indeed sooooooo complicated.

Well, it started out the way I wouldn’t have wanted to – with a suspension of classes last Monday on account of our good friend, the Habagat. Grabe… Magsisimula pa lang, self-study na kaagad. Oh noes… 

Thank God the rain didn’t last very long and come Tuesday, we got right into the heart of learning (no pun intended). It was congenital heart diseases there, heart sounds and murmurs here. Cardio is pretty interesting if you really think about it – everything makes sense as long as you get the logic behind every sequelae and adaptation response.

The first quiz we had yesterday was pretty do-able; I just feel bad, knowing that I probably didn’t do so well again. It’s been like this for the past couple of weeks already. I think there’s something wrong with the way I’m studying or that I’m probably thinking of too much lately. I can’t seem to retain things I read, though I do try hard to understand and make sense of things. *Sigh* I wonder what I’m doing wrong… Talk about having your heart broken. It kind of hurts.

Anyhow, yesterday’s SGD session with the pediatric cardio patients (they all had CHDs – our patient had patent ductus arteriosus) as well as our ward work in preparation for Monday’s case presentation (our ward patient had symptomatic bradycardia with a lot of co-morbidities) did a lot to pull at my heartstrings (again, no pun intended). People who have to live with such conditions have to give up a lot of things, have to deal with so many difficulties every day of our lives.

Yet again, I am reminded just how serious this field I am entering is. How can I, someone so blessed, complain about the difficulties when in fact, it will lead to a chance to alleviating suffering? These people – our patients – are relying on us to give them a shot a good life, a better life. Just that is enough to keep me going. Just that is enough to unbreak my heart.

Put your heart into it! Last module for this semester! Fighting! 

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